Listening is something which everyone has to practice and implement.
Let me give you one good example ,Marriage oh yeah, Marriage it is.Why do they end up in a court for a divorce these days?, Because one of them does not listen. You cant have both shouting at each other ? can you.One has to have an temperament of active listening.One may talk talk talk and the other one should try to listen .If this balance is maintained, Trust me there wont be any scope for argument,It doesn’t mean you have to agree on what ever you listen, but its always good to hear out.When people do not hear out there is “seed of issue which grows to a plant and goes on to grow like a tree”.It can be at work,personal life,friends anything.At work what if you have a boss who does not listen and just talks over, .Can you work with harmony?.
“You cant clap with a single hand!” there needs to be coordination and balance of act between any two individuals.The person who actively listens is the winner everywhere!
So how does it look like to be a good listener?, Well a good listener is attentive. They make good eye contact, don’t interrupt what the other person is saying and show an interest in what is being communicated. There’s always something incredible you can hear in anyone’s issue or a situation.lets see some good listening etiquette below.
- A good listener does not look over the shoulder of the person that’s speaking, waiting for someone more interesting to come along.
- A good listener does not check their phone or tablet in the middle of a conversation, when someone is sharing with them.
- A good listener is not waiting for their chance to get a word in, treating the ‘period of listening’ as a pause in their ‘monologue.’ Being so focused on trying to get ones view over is insensitive and misses the real value in the conversation.
- A good listener uses positive body language; leaning forward and showing an enthusiastic, relaxed nature. They don’t fidget, cross arms, look elsewhere or express inappropriate shock or disbelief at what’s shared.
- A good listener does not hurry somebody, but asks good questions to guide the sharing. They guide and help shape what’s being shared, but if the other person feels cut off or squashed they’ve failed.
- A good listener does not approach a conversation with prejudice, expecting to know what’s going to come out of the speaker’s lips. They don’t listen with a pre-formed opinion but attempt to have an open mind to what’s being communicated. It’s amazing how much time is wasted with the belief that people understand what someone means without taking the effort and time to listen.
- A good listener cares. They show empathy for what the other person has to say. It’s genuine, authentic and comes from a place of truthful concern.
- A good listener remembers. They remember and follow up conversations wherever possible. They treat what is shared with respect and where appropriate ongoing interaction.
- A good listener knows how to treat what is shared with confidentiality. They are trustworthy and sensitive with information and never look to use anything that is shared for any purpose other than good.
People when you are in a situation do share your concerns, but to a person who listens and acknowledges your issue.